Sunday, 16 October 2011

As time goes on

Life is truly a magical thing. There's good moments, and bad moments, and all the things left over, that are in between. It slips by you, so quickly. As a child, birthdays seemed sooooo long apart. What very mysterious things days are. Sometimes they fly by, and other times they seem to last forever, yet they are all exactly twenty-four hours. As you get older, birthdays seem to creep up on you from nowhere. Months and years run through your hands like water.  Whether you like it or not, time and life relentlessly march on.

This Friday just gone was just like any other Friday this year, in all ways but one. I got up. Fed children. Dressed children. Dressed myself. Fumbled through the lack of time in a school drop off, and got myself to work. But this Friday also marked 9 years since the passing of Dad after a hard fought battle with lung cancer, a battle he was so positive about, one he was was so sure about winning. That day, time stood still. I still remember talking to the hospital, (where he had been due to a recent operation) because Dad had a 'funny turn'. I remember the car trip, in silence, to see if he was ok. I remember the sense of foreboding as we pulled up, Mum waiting outside of the hospital with her sister, to meet us. Dad was not ok. Dad was gone. I remember the shock and numbness of grief that was overwhelming.

Mum and Dad looking so beautiful on their wedding day
Time is a funny thing. It can seemingly stand so still, but even if you wish otherwise, life goes on. That day, I still had a 9 week old baby that needing caring for. Uni assignments to finish. A wedding to plan. So much time has since gone by, and yet in an instant it can still it feel like that Monday, when we were pulling up outside the hospital and Mum was there waiting, and I knew.

Dad, Mum, the Sis and me all in our awesome 80's fashions
These days, I try to remember the good times. Yes the sadness is still there, but mostly Dad is thought of with smiles and laughter.
  • Kicking a football around with him in the backyard. It was a skill even girls must have.
  • That story of Mum's first attempt of cooking with the microwave which got bigger every time Dad told it.
  • The horror of having to teach 2 strong willed teenagers how to drive. At the same time!
  • The sadness and panic that set in when both the Sis and I were accepted into uni, and he shut himself in his room for days at the thought of his only children leaving!
  • When his football team won the grand final, the day before he died.
  • How proud he was of his first grand child.
Dad and the Ballerina meeting for the first time
Our house is full of pictures of him. Ballerina talks about Poppy all the time. The Sis and I often relive funny moments with Dad, or things that he loved. His memory is kept alive in these ways. Most of all, when we think of him, we remember him as a strong man who loved his family, who was passionate about cars and footy, someone who was fond of a good beer or red wine, and who loved simple delights; a home cooked meal, a good joke and falling asleep during a movie in his favourite chair.

On this day, much love to you Dad.

Evie's note: If you're struggling with the loss of a loved one, contact your local NALAG branch. They can be a wonderful support to you during this time.

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